The musings of a former office worker stuck in his house applying for jobs, when he would rather be out on the water.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


The past few days have been quite eventful. I was sick Sunday, Monday, and yesterday. Also, I won the lottery, as I have transcribed in a previous post. But this post is going to involve two things. Christmas Tree hunting, and for the first time ever, FISHING!

First off, let me descrive my Father and I hunting for a Christmas tree. We take our duties seriously, and as such, we went to 3 different Christmas tree places before we made our decision. We passed maybe 3 or 4 other places that we decided to skip. I mean, who wants to buy their tree at a KMart?

But getting our tree reminded me of Goldilocks and the 3 bears.  The first place we went to, the trees were too small.

The second place we went to had trees grown specifically for either the very rich, or those with 30 foot ceilings. So they were grown for the very rich.

Finally, the last place we went had trees that were just right. So we got one, put it up, and Sunday I had the honor of putting the lights on the tree. Which may be the most tedious Christmas chore of the year.

This isn't our tree, we haven't decorated ours yet. But I was in a bind, I was way behind, and I was willing to make a deal. When I came across this search engine sorting pictures and doing hot. And I jumped right up on a hickory stump and said google, let me tell you what. I need a picture of a Christmas tree.

But now, on to the important topic. FISHING. My dad and I drove all the way up to Dave's, the place we always get our licenses. We drove up there on the pretense of going to the Christmas tree place next door to Dave's, but come on. A 30 minute drive for a Christmas tree? I think not.

We purchased our licenses and our trout stamps, and my Dad and I are now ready for the 2011 fishing season. Largemouth beware, unlike the last decade, this is the year we catch that 5 pounder. But beyond our goals for the fishing year, here is my one gripe with a PA fishing license.

They are the most hideous government document ever put on this earth. Horrible to look at, yellow, with an ugly digital trout outline for a trout stamp. And yes, they look just as terrible in person.

The PA fishing license used to be a thing of beauty. A nice piece of paper, with handwritten information. It had a very beautiful look to it. And the trout stamps. My god, the trout stamps were art. I mean that literally too, the PA Fish & Game commission would choose an image like this one as a trout stamp.

Beautiful. But alas, with the digital age came those ugly, yellow licenses. But I guess I can't fault them that much. Without the licenses, my Dad and I would never have been able to catch these. And by the way, this is an old picture, but I couldn't find the picture of us with the fish we caught this summer. So these will have to suffice. Regardless, Largemouth of the world, beware, the Schwarz boys are coming for you.


  1. Men, we're fishermen, not fisherboys.

    And I guess you bet the devil a largemouth made of gold on that five pounder? You better hope for an early thaw.

  2. Haha, I knew you would get the song. And yes, we will whack em this year. And we will get that 5 pounder.