The musings of a former office worker stuck in his house applying for jobs, when he would rather be out on the water.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Halloween at Work

Halloween at work is going to give me a perfect training ground to try out the new costume. How bad is my pirate accent? How easy is it to use a pirate hook designed for a 12 year old all day. Why doesn't my hat fit? How much duct tape does it take to keep a raven on my shoulder? All these questions are of vital importance, and will be answered today. And as an unemplyed pirate, I must have a resume. I mean, come on, I need a job at some point, maybe a well written resume would help:

Captain Schwarzbeard
123 Shipwreck Cove

I be looking fer a job, on yer ship.

Work Experience

Captain Morgan
I was employed as a quality control expert fer Captain Morgan
I helped deliver barrels o’ rum all over these parts

Cap’n Crunch
I was hired as deck hand fer Cap’n Crunch
I hauled in the sails, while Crunch hawked the goods

Captain Morgan- He put a little Captain in me
Admiral Nelson- Taught me to act, even when I hit rock bottom
Cap’n Crunch- taught me how to cook, cut people’s mouths with my cooking.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Wednesdays are something no man enjoys. Or woman for that matter. Especially Wednesdays at the end of a billing month, the weekend before Halloween. Everyone knows what is about to start. One of the best weekends of the year. A weekend where sugar becomes money, and costumes become the norm. Kids are excited for candy and trick or treating. Adults are excited for the parties that come after the kids go to bed. And my weekend is no different.

Although, thankfully, with no kids, my party will start early. Unfortunately, that party is still 4 days away. So here I sit, in a cubicle, wishing i was outside. Leaves are chagning, weather is getting colder. Perfect time to be outside. Insteadd, a cubicle, some flourescent lights, and bills to distribute. And Halloween to think of.

Which, by the way, will be awesome. I plan on going as an unemployed pirate. Because in this economy, every costume is funnier when its unemployed.