The musings of a former office worker stuck in his house applying for jobs, when he would rather be out on the water.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Brew Day

Last night, I started my favorite hobby right now. I brewed a Double American Brown Ale and an American Pale Ale. Brewing beer is a lengthy process, involving cleaning, boiling, temperature control, and lots and lots of waiting. I mean a lot of waiting. Which is tough for someone who has no patience like me. But the real problem in my house isn't the waiting, it isn't temperature control, it isn't the cleaning.

It is the smell.

I know what you're thinking. How could something that looks that delicious, and comes out tasting as good as my beer does, smell as bad as my family thinks it does? Quite frankly I don't know.

But I lit 6 candles in the kitchen last night to combat the smell. It didn't do any good. My sister walked in the door, and immediately screamed, "Oh no, he's brewing!!"

Yes, that's right. She screamed. Screamed. I can't figure it out. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am the one cooking the wort(unfermented beer), and I am the one drinking it. Maybe that's why the smell isn't offensive to me. I can't figure it out.

Because unlike my family, I think it smells delicious. Not only does it smell delicious, it tastes delicious. Despite its roiling brown color, and having a consistency between crude oil and tar, Wort is a sweet substance, very sugary. You can smell the different ingredients wafting through the air, knowing that in just a few short weeks, you'll be able to bottle this magical brew, and a few short weeks after that, you'll be able to drink it.

Bottling is actually not all that fun, it's kind of like mowing the lawn. Except if you mess up and overcarb your beer, it explodes. Kind of like missing a pile of dog dirt. It makes a mess, and gets all over you.

But then you get to drink your brew. And let me tell you, no beer will ever taste better than one you have made yourself. Sure it's just beer. And it may not even be good beer. Objectively, I can taste my beer and list 100 things I could do to make it better. So you try to do those things the next time, and you do make it better. But each and every beer you drink that you have made? The satisfaction of drinking a fine homebrew is something only homebrewers will know. Because It tastes delicious.

So, if I can encourage you to take any advice from me(besides Maverick in the bathroom) it would be to give homebrewing a shot. But buy a candle or two, apparently it stinks.

And when in doubt?

Relax, Don't worry, Have a homebrew.


  1. Like a cigar. People say they stink, but they don't bother me when I'm smoking them.

  2. I love the smell of a good cigar. Mystery commenter, I'd gladly smoke one with you whenever I have the chance.