The musings of a former office worker stuck in his house applying for jobs, when he would rather be out on the water.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

My Tonsils

My tonsils are evil creatures. I believe they are currently about this big:

Maybe a little bigger. I know for certain the right one is touching my uvula, because I can see it in the mirror when I looked at them.

But enough about my gigantic tonsils. Let's move on to something more important. I've been reading a lot of other blogs lately, and some of them are truly fascinating. Others, not so much. But one thing I have noticed is that there seem to be a lot more women out there in the blogosphere than men. And as such, there are a ton of posts on things such as love, clothes, and food. So, in response to all of these topics, here is my response to each topic.

Clothes are clothes. Do I feel comfortable in them? Do I look good in them? Do I look cool in them? If i answered yes to at least one of the questions above they are fine to wear. Matching? Maybe if I'm lucky. Stylish? I'll be screwed when button downs aren't stylish anymore? Comfortable, you better believe my clothes are comfy. Women, I await your response to my reasoned and logical approach to clothing.

Food is great. Calories are a lie invented by weightloss people to buy their food and pills. Food friend in butter? GREAT! Things grilled, especially big juicy burgers or a nice succulent steak? AMAZING? Salad? Ehh, I guess it's ok. Having someone else cook for you? THE BEST THING EVER! So in closing, cook for other people, and they shall cook for you. Everyone wins!

I won't pretend to be an expert. Find someone you like, who likes you, and ask them out. Then if things go well, continue with the dating. Whatever you do, don't overthink it. Overthinking leads to arguments, and nobody likes arguments. Instead, take a tip from the above paragraph. Next time you want to get in a fight with someone? Cook them a steak, or bake them a cake, whatever you are good at. I myself can't bake, so I would go with the grilling option. If after a good meal you are still rip roaring and ready to fight, well then, I don't know what to say. You're in over my head.

So there you go. Enjoy readers, and profit from my advice.


  1. Great advice... I feel like your huge tonsils may be preventing you from eating which is why you're so keen on the foods right now. I hope you get them taken out; mine were literally the size of golf balls before I had them removed; now I rarely get sick.

  2. Hahaha I laughed out loud, although can I just say...RUDE.

    I hope you're feeling better. What did the doc say?

  3. Psh, my tonsils are ALWAYS that big. Every doctor I've ever seen has gazed down my throat with an expression of horror on his/her face and remarked, "do you know you have exceptionally large tonsils?" This is sort of like the "Wow, you're really tall" remarks. No, in 21 years I never noticed!

    As I woman, I would like to posit that I do not like salad. I can be persuaded to eat it. But I'm not a fan. For the record I also do not eat steak. So I guess that doesn't leave a whole lot of food groups. Except carbs. I eat those. <3