The Greatest Movie Ever Made

By far the greatest movie ever made. Bar none. I have personally seen this movie well over 500 times. And it never ever ever ever gets old. It has everything a man could ever want or need in a movie. Planes. Explosions. Good looking women. More explosions. Classic insults. I can honestly say that Top Gun has had a larger effect on my life than every other movie I have ever seen, combined.

It started out when I was young. ABC was broadcasting Top Gun as its million dollar movie. My dad stayed up, and taped off of ABC all of the plane scenes for Top Gun. Then he somehow bleeped out all of the curses. For about ten years, this is all I knew of Top Gun. And it taught me an important lesson. Top Gun is the only movie where the plot is not important to the story.

Then I got Top Gun on dvd. Of course the special edition. Is there any other edition? And it introduced me to the story. Which is of course awesome. And it also introduced me to the many insults Top Gun has to offer. They are beautiful. Wit at its most potent.
"Slider, (sniff sniff), you stink."
"Don't sweat it Mav, they were abused as children."
"Come on mother goose!!"

Then I got to college. And I met Dave Denny. He had the single greatest Top Gun innovation I had seen in years. When one went to sit down upon the commode, looking at you on the wall across from the porcelain throne was this:

This way, when you were sitting on the, ahem, you always had a little bit of encouragement. And you know what? It always made me smile. Here is the one and only decorating tip I will ever give someone. If you think your bathroom is missing a little something, maybe needs a little pick me up? Toss Maverick in there, He'll fix it right up.

Now movies have tried to equal Top Gun. They have tried to come close. But they can't touch it. No one ever will. This movie is pure 100% America. 100% testosterone. 100% awesome. How many movies are 300% cool? None. Except for Top Gun.

Will this be my only Top Gun post? Negative Ghostrider. But it is my only Top Gun post today. And I'll end it the only way I know how. With some F-14 Tomcat goodness.