Stephen King

I feel as though I haven't written any book review posts lately. So, after realizing how many people read Stephen King, I have decided to put up a Stephen King post.

Stephen King has written some pretty famous stories. Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption, Cujo, It, Pet Semetary, Salem's Lot, Carrie, The Body(Stand By Me). The list goes on. But in my opinion, some of his best stories are his short stories. In anthologies such as Nightmares and Dreamscapes, Stephen King writes some of his most suspenseful work, and many of these tales only last 8 pages.

A prime example is the short story, The Ledge. In the 8 page Ledge, Stephen King puts as much suspense and fear in your mind as he does in the biblically long Salem's Lot. And in Nightshift, a short story about cleaning an abandoned warehouse, Stephen King strikes terror into your heart in 10 pages. It took 100 pages of Pet Semetary to start getting scared.

And not all of his short stories are scary. The Body, though tense at parts, is not scary. Neither is The Green Mile, and yet both of these stories sold well as books, and went on to be turned into classic movies.

So if I can offer a piece of reading advice, go read some Stephen King. And if you don't want to read a terribly long book, or get scared, there are still options for you.

Enjoy, and as always, have fun getting scared.

Recently, at my House...

First off, let me say, I hate ellipses. I mean, really, who even uses them anymore? I don't know any real application for them...

But in other news, an exercise machine was just purchased and put in the Schwarz basement. This is what it looks like.

Essentially. Now, upon viewing this you probably realize that the whole point of this machine is to exercise your abs by placing your knees on the black cups, holding on to the handles, and swinging back and forth.

You would be dead wrong.

The true workout from this machine, and it is harder than you would imagine, is getting on and off. It is not exactly the most balanced machine, and the knees cups swing side to side. So getting on and off is like trying to kneel on top of a horse and getting your knees in the stirrups.

I suppose you could try to exercise by swinging back and forth, but only if you have the endurance of a marathon champion, since it takes about 3 hours to get on and off this thing.

Or does it....

Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span

Met you one summer and it all began


Ahh pop music. Some people criticize the lyrics being written today as garbage. For example, let's examine a sone by some name kedollarha.(I refuse to spell her name with the $ sign she uses).
Wake up in the mornin' feelin' like P- Diddy (Hey what's up girl)
Grab ma glasses I'm out the door I'm gonna hit the city (Let's go)
Before I leave brush ma teeth with a bottle of Jack
'Cuz when I leave for the night I ain't comin back
Kedollarha "Tik Tok"


Shakespeare would be proud of the place that this:

has taken the English language. I know when Shakespeare was writing Hamlet, he envisioned a time when people would be putting the beautiful act of brushing your teeth with bourbon to song.


And it doesn't end there.

God knows why she decided to go out wearing a bunch of London Broils. Maybe she eats raw meat. And I refuse to put down lyrics to poker face, because frankly, it is musical vomit.


But the whole reason I put these "artists"(their words, not mine) down on this page, is because I want to contrast them with my favorite pop band ever, LFO.


LFO was terrible, I have no idea what they looked like, and to the best of my knowledge they were laughed out of the music industry. But instead of brushing their teeth with hard liquor, or ruining a perfectly good steak by wearing it as clothes, LFO wrote this:
You're the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets


and later on, in the same song:
There was a good man named Paul Revere
I feel much better baby when you're near
You love fun dip and cherry Coke,
I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke


Come on people. What happened to us? Now we have to listen to a crazy lady sing about god knows what, and some girl talk into a microphone about bourbon toothpaste. When we could have LFO!!! Or similar lighthearted pop!!! 


I ask you, youth of today, When did you lose your innocence?


I'll leave you with this:
Sometimes its black
Sometimes its white
Sometimes shes wrong
Sometimes im right
Sometimes we talk about it or we figure it out
But then she just changed her mind

My First Trip of the Season

I guess enough time has passed since my first fishing trip of the season to post an update. Here is essentially the results of my fishing trip to Lake Hopewell.
Dad-4
Philmin-0

Yea, I got handed a good oldfashoined buttwhooping by the denizens of the deep. Got to see some hunting Ospreys though, and they always came out of the water without a fish too. So my Dad not only bested me, he bested the 3 or 4 Ospreys flying around.

We got to see the new Beaver lodge the beaver made. I don't know why he abandoned the old lodge for the new one, but he is cutting down some trees I don't approve of. On this particular lake, there are two small islands. And on these islands, there are some really cool trees. The stereotypical horror movie trees you only see on islands in the center of lake. The kinds of trees that have legends about how the devil strikes down anyone who attempts to cut them down. Unless the cutter is a beaver, and then he is good to go.

In short, we saw some birds, some beavers, and some bass. Well, my dad saw some bass, I didn't see any. But there's always next time.

Something Big Happened 150 Years Ago Yesterday

So i forgot to post yesterday about this, but it bears mentioning. 150 years ago yesterday, this guy:

fired a cannon at this little fort:

And thus began the bloodiest conflict in American history. Over the next four years, millions of men would fight, and hundreds of thousands would die. 2% of the population died in the war. Slaves were freed. Many historians call it the most pivotal time in our nation's history. And it turned 150 years old yesterday.

Needles

A post by a follower of mine made me think. I have been pricked by a lot of needles in my day. I mean, besides the normal flu shots, that time I needed a tetanus shot because I got a fish hook in my eye, and generic needles everyone gets as a kid, I have had a lot of needles.

I had allergy shots for 4 years. My mom would take me to allergy shots once a week, and I would get 3 shots. Turns out, among other things I'm allergic to, I'm allergic to dust mites and grass pollen. And cats. But I guess cats are a lot harder to put into shot form compared to grass pollen and dust mites. Anyway, those shots were small, and didn't really hurt that much.

In college I started to donate blood. At first I just donated the normal way, one pint at a time, every 60 days. I donated somewhere between 15 to 20 pints before I moved up to the big leagues of blood donation. I started doing apherysis(I have no idea how to spell it). During the aforementioned procedure, you have a needle put in each arm, and lay there for 2 hours while they pull plasma from your blood. Though this takes longer than average blood donations, the Red Cross will let you donate 20 times a year this way. Which is a lot more than the 6 times you can donate whole blood.

So in summation, and staying completely on topic, donate blood with the Red Cross. It helps out your fellow man, doesn't take very long, and is a generally good thing to do. So get donating!

A New Fear

I realized today that I am quite frankly afraid of heights. It seems that this fear is directly related to my relative height as well. As a young kid, I remember racing my neighbor up the blue spruce in my side yard to see who could get higher. We could both make it up about 20 feet of tree in roughly 3 or 4 minutes. Not bad for 9 year olds.

But now, when I climb a ladder at work, I climb this:

But I feel like I'm climbing this:

I realize this is silly, but today at work, as I was trying to change a light bulb in a ceiling fixture. I started sweating, and I felt like I was about to fall. I almost dropped a fluorescent ligh(apparently a bad thing) and I managed to put in the new lightbulb. 

I just wish I knew why this fear started to manifest itself recently. Ahh well, can't win em all.